What now?
In recent weeks I've found myself bumping
into this question more frequently. I've walked with families who are working
through pain, I've seen many grade 12 students wondering what might be on the
horizon a few months from now, and I've even had conversations with folks about
different life transitions they are looking at (moving, changing jobs, health
issues, etc.). The one common denominator in all of these interactions has been
the prevailing, and somewhat deafening, ask of "what now?"
This question seems to stem from a form of
identity crisis. When a role that we have played begins to shift (like
graduation from an achievement of sorts), we seemingly loose sight of a piece
of our identity. We are no longer what we used to be, and we are uncertain of who
we are in the immediate and now not as distant future.
I wonder if the tension we experience is a
result of allowing our identity to be shaped more by the roles we've been
accustomed to playing rather than the values or the principles from which we may
have stated are the foundation of our lives.
Consider this: If a parent who has had
their children living with them in their home for 20+ years is now suddenly
dealing with the emerging reality of becoming an empty-nester (a welcome
thought for some), does their role a parent come to an end? Perhaps not, but it
does indeed shift.
If roles in life change, and if
experiences sometimes facilitate this change, how might one respond to the
reality of the 'what now' in their life? Here are three simple suggestions.
1. Breathe. This may seem like a no brainer, but this is absolutely
critical. Without oxygen we will die. There are times when the pain we are
experiencing in our moment of crisis we are impeded in our attempts to not only
breathe physically, but to find space to process the emotional, spiritual and
physical realities that transition brings. Create space where you can process
this transition and don't forget to catch your breath.
2. Seek wise counsel. Get input from people who have gone through a season of
asking the "what now" question before. Their experience might not
mirror your own experience, but you may also be able to learn from someone who
has walked the "what now" path before you. You're not expected to
figure everything out on your own. Take some time to connect with people you
trust, people who have your best intentions at heart and allow them to walk
this emerging journey with you.
3. Take your time. Don't be hard on yourself. It takes time to work through a
"what now" season. In our intensely saturated instantaneous culture
we succumb to the pressure and demands of results based value as a society. It
takes time to work through different seasons in life. The "what now"
season is no different. You cannot expect an instantaneous response to a
soul-stirring question. Be kind to yourself and others who are walking through
this kind of season. You don't simply get over a "what now" season,
you get through it...and that takes time.
Where would you fit "pray about it" into your 3 steps?
ReplyDeleteGreat question. Thanks for posting it. I would suggest that prayer is a function of all 3 steps. Perhaps I should have stated this more clearly in the outset. Prayer invites us to create space to breathe, it connects us with the source of wisdom and reminds us that patience is something to strive for. Thanks for posting!
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