The Philosopher vs. The Practicioner

My favorite undergraduate class was philosophy. I enjoyed it so much particularly because the entire structure of the class itself was centered around personal opinion, and if you know me...I seem to have no shortage of those!!

While I really do enjoy thinking about, observing, creating and teaching philosophical concepts and worldviews, philosophy itself doesn't amount to much of anything. Unless couple with a practical application, the dispensation of philosophy erodes to the lowest form of entertainment based pontification.

Think about this for a minute. You take a class, listen to an expert or read through some material in order to gain a better frame of reference on a particular set of circumstances in order to engage these circumstances with a greater amount of creativity and innovation. We pursuing learning in order to experience growth...we desire to live beyond our current reality.

For some of us our natural inclination might be towards the philosophical ramifications of a particular issue, while others of us might tend to focus on the practical application of what is being discussed.

Both are valuable, and both are needed. The challenge is finding the balance between these two competing ideologies.

Here are three things I'm learning about how to find this type of balance:

1. Don't over-think it. Sometimes the best solutions to problems are the ones that are organically created and sustained. What works in one place or with one problem might now work with another. While it is great to think creatively about a specific issue, we can unintentionally find ourselves stuck in the hamster wheel of over-thinking our strategic approach to the problem at hand. Think, yes, but resist the temptation to theorize the issue away...history teaches us that never works out well.

2. Test it. The balance between the philosopher and the practitioner might just be found in the basic scientific method approach of trial and error. Sometimes we need to test our theories. We might think something works, but without substantial proof, what good is our theory? This basic understanding in science can and should be directly applied to faith. If we believe something is true, we should allow it to be tested. I can't have faith if I don't have trust, and trust is the organic by-product of testing. Don't believe me? Even the Bible suggests that we should "taste and see the Lord is good." If we think it might be true, we should test it so that we can trust our convictions. There is no reward without risk, and risk is a form of testing.

3. Celebrate it and replicate it. When our theory turns out to have produced desired (and maybe unintended) results we should stop to celebrate it! We don't celebrate our success in order to create a larger ego, we celebrate our success in order to recognize the growth and development that is occurring. Ever wonder why we celebrate birthdays? Life is a gift. Growth is a gift. We need to take the time to celebrate our experiences and learn how to enjoy the gift we've been given. And once we celebrate, we should look to replicate our success by learning to continue to grow in another facet or area of our lives. We should be content with who we are, but being content does not mean we refuse to grow any longer. Contentment means we live from a place of reassured confidence and hope that life is a gift and we are stewards of this gift.

Whether you find yourself drawn more to the philosophical or the practical end of the spectrum, the truth is that without a balance between these two ideologies, we might become irrelevant to ourselves and to others...and then what is it that we have to offer the communities in which we find ourselves in association with?

We Love our Options - Discipleship 186

If there is one universal value that all of humankind seems to uphold (at least the segment that resides in North America) it would be options.

Let me explain what I mean. Agreed, there can be other factors at play in the evolution of life in general, but one of the primary motivations behind what we do and what we pursue in our culture seems to point to the desire of greater options. Think about this for a moment. Parents work hard to provide their children with experiences they never had (options). Immigrants embrace the reality of life in a new country hoping their children will have a better opportunity to succeed in life (options). Youth and young adults choose their scholastic environment based on what courses and extra curricular activities are offered (options). Building a new home or choosing a new community to live in is often influenced by what sort of amenities are associated with the community or the new home building project (options). Church goers shop around until they find a faith community that fulfills their desire to "be fed" (options)...maybe this one hits a little too close to home? How many side dish options does a person really need at a restaurant (options)?? Sports teams have even developed basic plays that contain options for the players to implement during the course of a game!

The evidence of these systemic behaviours points to a malformation of identity in all of humankind. We believe a lie that tells us life is about opportunities and options instead of values. And so we begin to value options ahead of the things that truly feed the soul.

We might wonder why marriages are failing at an exponentially increasing rate, youth and young adults seem reluctant to embrace responsibility as emerging adults, and the attitude of entitlement seems to have replaced the value of a great work ethic. The truth is that each of these three examples are the end-product results of an overarching value that screams to us that our options are more important than anything else on the planet. We are driven to pursue our options, and the wake of our pursuit has created some devastating consequences that just so happen to be continuously feeding into the malformation of human identity.

The challenge I find myself facing is how to move against the cultural forces that are demanding my attention, my submission and my obedience. While I do possess the desire to be noticed and connected to the rest of humankind, I feel a greater sense of responsibility and invitation into a different way of living life outside of the human initiated rhythm that seems more exhausting than life giving. Some people have chosen to pursue life "off of the grid" or in a more sheltered environment as a result of these emerging trends in our culture...but this is a choice I simply will not make. Living so close to the mountains has provided me with the opportunity to marvel as the resilience of nature. I've seen trees growing out of the sides of mountains. They are rooted in rocks and are thriving in this unconventional environment. I see things like this and cannot help but wonder if this isn't an invitation to thrive in the midst of chaos?

Sure our world might just be spinning out of control, but does that mean I have to spin with it? I'm learning how to embrace a different rhythm and pace in my own life by pursuing three things:

1. Balance - I must choose to intentionally limit my options. There are a million good things going on in the world, but I don't want to do good things...I want to be a part of something great. I'm not about to pursue greatness if I'm too busy doing good. Therefore, I must intentionally choose to limit the amount of good opportunities that I embrace so that I have the ability to recognize and commitment to pursuing the great things that come my way.

2. Generosity - You want to be radical? Start living generously. Choose to put the development of others ahead of yourself. You will find something interesting takes place...you will actually learn, grow and develop at a more expedited pace than if you were focused solely on your own personal well-being. You'll also create more joy through serving others than serving yourself.

3. Authenticity - Surround yourself with real people who will not only challenge you, but will also encourage you to be who you were designed to be. Our time on this planet is finite. Why waste it chasing after so-called friends who only view you as a commodity or a means to a desired end?

We might love our options, but no one ever said we had to. Instead of valuing and consuming more, maybe we might actually find a little peace through embracing a different paradigm for our lives?

Just like a child - Discipleship 185

My daughter started school last week. I've been filled with mixed emotions ever since then. Part of me couldn't believe I was old enough to have a child in school, while another part of me was excited to see how her character will continue to develop and grow due to the new school experience.

Perhaps the most profound lesson I've learned from this initial school exposure is how similar I am to my own kids. In learning to identify more with what they are experiencing, I am beginning to understand what it is critical for me to be aware of how others are processing this "human experience" so that I can help inspire, encourage, motivate, challenge and lead them. Here are three must knows for every parent and leader.

1. They are thinking the same thing. After my daughter's first day of school, I learned that I ask the same questions that she does. Questions like "who am I going to sit with," "I wonder if that person will remember my name," and "when is snack time?" I'm fascinated by watching and observing cultural patterns, behaviours and trends (maybe I should have become a sociologist?? - yeah...not likely!). The questions of who we are going to meet or interact with are common questions that each of us ask. As a leader and a parent, I think my role is more about helping my kids (and myself) understand that they can be the answer to someone's question (or prayer) by recognizing that these "connection" or "interaction" questions are common to us all. It's been fun coaching my daughter to initialize the connection instead of waiting for it to happen or to occur. Sometimes awkwardness is the result, but I have yet to hear about someone who lost their life due to some social awkwardness. Take a chance, be a friend and get involved in the lives of people.

2. Development is a process, not a reaction. My daughter is only 4 days into the whole Kindergarden scene. Day 3 was a little tough for her. She told us she had a tough day because her indoor shoes were too difficult to get on and by the time she got her shoes on everyone else already had their play buddies for the day. As she told me her story I found myself asking the internal question of "should I talk to her teacher about this?"I never thought I would be one of those parents...thankfully sanity returned to my inner dialogue and I resisted the temptation to go speak with her teacher this time around. But I do think this thought pattern is indicative of how we as humans process life. Instead of understanding the overall development of the trajectory of life, we sometimes commit to knee-jerk type reactions that end up damaging our development more than we recognize. Don't believe me? Consider this: A friend or loved one sends you an ambiguous text message...one that requires some level of clarity. A person could simply look for an opportunity to pursue clarity in communication, or they could decide that this individual should be cut off from relational interaction completely. This might seem like a ridiculous or harsh example, but I think it illustrates my point. Development occurs over time. Sometimes our initial reactions aren't the best options or ideas. Instead, as parents & leaders, we should be proactive in our approach to life...anticipating potential roadblocks to the development of those whom we love and working to circumvent the roadblocks or even move through them. What this requires is having an idea of what values and/or habits we desire to impart to those we care about instead of reacting erroneously to different situations as they occur.

3. Celebrate the successes, learn from the mis-steps. We don't take enough time to celebrate the successes. Day 3 was a rough day of school for our daughter, but day 4 was amazing...and it started with her being one of the first ones to get her shoes on (meaning she was no longer left behind as the other kids headed into the classroom to play, she instead was leading the way!). So, we celebrated the "shoe" success as a family. Let me ask you this...when was the last time you stopped to celebrate something? If we understand that development is a process, that means it's going to take different amounts of time for different people to grow in their development. It also means that we must be creative in how and in what we celebrate in the lives of others. Maybe it's grad, maybe it's social interaction, or maybe it's something else. What I'm suggesting is that if we do not have a culture of celebration, we may just lose our ability to inspire others.

Additionally, we need to learn from the mis-steps. My youngest son is just learning how to walk. There have been several falls already due to a mis-step. There are many things my son is learning from these mis-steps. They include (but are not limited to) - the importance of balance, knowing how to get back up from a fall, falls hurt and there will always be another challenge. As parents and leaders we need to model what it means to learn from our mis-steps while demonstrating to those under our influence that these mis-steps, while painful, should not have longer term debilitating effects to one's development. While the mis-step is painful in it's season, it can be and must be overcome in order for development to continue to occur.

What are you owning? - Discipleship 184

I can remember the very first time I purchased something with my own money. I had been saving up my Christmas and birthday money in order to buy a brand new video game for my Super Nintendo! My dad and I headed into the city to the local Zellers which had the best selection of games for purchase. I remember being filled with such great anticipation and excitement knowing that this was something I had worked for and planned to purchase. I was a proud owner!!

As a parent and a pastor I've often asked myself the question of what I am owning? The families under my pastoral care and even my own children don't necessarily belong to me in that I own them, but they are gifts that I've been allowed to help shape, model and develop. Knowing this, here are three things I'm learning what I should be owning as both a parent and a pastor:

1. Values, not programs. Programs are wonderful. They allow us to experience a variety of things, and sometimes even help to teach us something (ie, swimming lessons). But...no matter how flashy or fancy the program is, the program itself DOES NOT develop people. Instead of owning a program, I need to own the value that initiates the program. For example, if my hope is that those under my influence as a leader or a parent would learn how to live generously, I should be more concerned about cultivating the value of generosity rather than the programs or initiatives that allow me to be generous. Programs do not have the long-term sustainability that values do. If I value generosity, I will continue to learn how to live generously long after the program that encouraged my initial generosity is gone. Programs do have value, but they should never be valued greater than the values they are designed to develop are.

2. Relationships, not statistics. This seems like a no brainer. The quality of my relationships isn't directly correlated to how many things I've experienced in each relationship. What I mean is that I can't add up the number of dates I've had with my wife and evaluate the depth of our connection based solely on this numerical data. Instead, I need to long for other identifiers for relational growth. These are somewhat more difficult to observe and measure. They include (but are not limited to): trust, communication, risk, authenticity and support. It's impossible to measure the level of trust in a relationship based on a numerical scale. The quality of the relational connections I possess is not directly correlated to statistical data alone. I must have other external measuring devices that help me to describe my definition of success.

3. Character qualities, not to-do lists. Developing people extends beyond behavioural modification. If our goal is simply to have people "do things right," we are unintentionally creating shallow human beings. The question of "why" should be of utmost prominence in all that we communicate instead of "how", "what" or "when." It's not enough for a child to refrain from lying. If the child doesn't understand why telling the truth is important and how lies affect others that long lasting character development will not stick. 

What do you think?

Staying Fresh - Discipleship 183

There is something inspiring about creating some new, or tweaking something that already exists in order to make it feel like a new experience. 

I like variety. There are seasons when I enjoy the same thing (pizza....) and then there are others when I can't get enough of new perspective shifting mindsets. 

I wonder if our relational connection with people and with God might fall into this same desire to keep things fresh? I know there are times when I'm looking for something new instead of the systematic routine that I have established. Maybe I'm the only one, but if you too crave variety and newness...consider experimenting with these four things:

1. Shake it up. There is nothing more system shocking for those of us who crave our routines, to deliberately do everything different for an entire day. So you stop at the same coffee shop every morning? Try a different place. Never tried a certain ethnic cuisine for lunch or dinner? Today is that day!! Create an experience...good or bad. Sometimes keeping life fresh is about our willingness to shuffle the deck when it comes to our routine.

2. Adventure Robinhood style. Steal for the rich and give to the poor...sort of. Let's be honest here. In our current Canadian climate, we live in the land of luxury. There is nothing more humbling then spending time with people who are less fortunate than we are and discovering that they have what we crave...joy and contentment. Adventure Robinhood style is about learning to identify with the poor in your community. Get outside of yourself and your circumstances and spend time with people who can teach and inspire you. If you don't know where to begin, find out what your city is doing to serve the less fortunate and discover how you can get involved beyond merely handing out cash.

3. Follow the leader. Consider allowing someone else to dictate the pace and rhythm of your entire day. This is one of my favorite things to do on occasion with my young family. My wife and I have allowed our kids to design our entire day...and we've put a map together in order to help us follow the plans that we've created. It's been a blast...stretching for sure, but certainly worthwhile. Give up control a little bit, there's no telling what might happen when you are willing to be led by someone else.

4. Dream big. So you don't want to wake up 30 years from now with a heart full of the shoulda coulda wouldas...well, I suggest that you start dreaming today. What would you like to see, where would you like to visit, what would you like to experience. Start dreaming and then start evaluating where you are today and where you'd like to be in the future. Learning to translate your dreams into reality will be the greatest adventure you can ever experience.

Staying fresh is something we all crave. I hope that you consider what this looks like for you, and that you invite others into your quest for freshness. There is nothing like experiencing a deepening interconnectedness and support for following your hopes and dreams.

When It's Hard to be Thankful - Discipleship 182

Maybe I'm alone in feeling this way, but there are times in my life where I simply do not appreciate nor do I feel grateful for who I am, what I have and what my life is all about. I find these moments in time very interesting as I observe how I'm reacting (or over-reacting) to circumstances, people and the other things that life brings.

I often wonder what I would or could do if things were different in some way.

It's in these moments of introspection that I'm learning to discipline myself to be thankful, instead of wishing for something more or something else. It's alright to crave something deeper, but when the craving for more (consumption) overshadows current reality (perspective)...you run into the proverbial dead end internally and feel like you are hitting a wall that cannot be overcome...and the vicious circle continues unless you can system shock your way out of it.

Here are three things that are necessary for me to initiate system shock:

1. Pursue Simplicity. I define simplicity for myself and my family as an intentionality behind who we are and what we do. When it's hard to be thankful, it's usually because we've allowed the intentionality behind who we are and what we do to become less of a priority for us. For example, if my hope is to be a great dad to my kids but I don't take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with them while on vacation or during a down moment in our schedule, I may struggle with the fractured relational connection I experience with my kids due to the lack of intentionality in my pursuit of them. When I choose to keep life simple (ahem...when I'm intentional about what I pursue), I maintain a grateful and thankful perspective on life.

2. Pursue Relationship. Much of introspection occurs in an isolated state; meaning that the person who is introspective is often alone during the moment of reflection (and yes you can be alone even if there are others in the same room as you!!). When it's hard to be thankful I find great value in taking the time to connect relationally with others so I can share some of the difficulties I may be experiencing, but also so I can simply listen to how their life story is unfolding and find things to be grateful for from observing their lives from a distance. This observation isn't a state of comparison, but one of hopefulness as I begin to trace the theme of thankfulness and gratitude in another person's story...and hopefully can begin to translate this same perspective into my own.

3. Pursue Generosity. Sometimes I find it hard to be thankful because I have too much stuff. We've all heard the line, "what do you get someone who has everything?" To be honest, live in North America (regardless of your current financial status), is a life of luxury and want...not one of need. I find that when I choose to live generously with my time, stuff and skill set, I'm not only disciplining myself to be thankful but I'm also alleviating some of the burden that my consumeristic nature brings (ie, more is enough).

When it's hard to be thankful, take the time to stop, listen, examine and respond accordingly to the space you are presently occupying. Life isn't easy, but it can be full in a non-materialistic way...which is the best kind of life to live! I'm grateful for learning yet again that I've got more to learn, and I'm thankful that I've got a perfect example of someone to follow who knew how to be thankful in all things...thank you Jesus!

Relational Ties - Discipleship 181

I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "the tie that binds us." It might be a little outdated...so here's a more modern approach to this same idea - relational connecting points.

I've had the amazing privilege of knowing some fantastic older folks over the course of my life. Some of my favorite memories are having spent time with wise, old, wrinkled individuals and chatting. You know what the common denominator in most of their stories they tell is? Relationships. No matter how old or how young you might be, it's the relational ties that we have that grant us a portion of our identity. Here are three key things I'm learning about relational ties:

1. All relationships shape us. Whether it's a positive interaction with a teacher from your Grade 1 class, or a frightful first date experience...all relationships shape us. We are formed, reformed, dented and glued by the relational connections we develop with others...even if these connections are limited and brief. Picture someone you admire in your mind. How are you connected to them? The social business network Linked In defines these types of connections as first, second or third type connections. A first connection is an immediate interaction with an individual. A second connection is a "friend of a friend" type of scenario, and so on and so on. Regardless of how well or how little you know another person, every single interaction leaves an impression. I shudder to think how some of the people I've interacted with over my lifetime have been affected by me, but I also smile when I think of other people who may have had a more positive interaction with me.

2. We don't like having real connections. Even though we are defined my our relational connections, we are afraid of developing a real connection. We are so starved for attention or connection, that we are willing to embrace a placebo or plastic connection instead of risking these synthetic connections for something of real substance. It's easier to cope with rejection when some doesn't like the real us...so we create fake connections out of fear and a desire to protect ourselves. The funny thing is that these fake connections only enhance our insatiable appetite for authenticity...so we end up creating an internal monster that will never be satisfied by our attempts to live in shallow waters relationally instead of a deep ocean of connection.

3. We mimic what we know and see. If we've been marred positively or negatively by a relationship, we mimic this behavior. It takes extreme courage to rise above negativity, swim up stream and reject corporate compliance. If you don't have a great relational role model in your life, find one...start learning from them and begin mimicking their posture instead of the negative expressions of relational connections that might seem more natural to us.

We are defined by our relational ties. They aren't something we wear, but they are something we live. What do your relational ties say about you?