Autonomy or Collaboration

Sometimes I wonder if living in our consumer oriented culture stunts the development of our understanding and implementation of leadership.

The typical North American branding for leaders has been those created through a personal ascension towards responsibility, goals and achievements. The name of the game has been to increase one's character, competency and capability so you can become the leader you were intended to be.

As a leader, what I've learned most is that in order to grow I need others around me to challenge me, to encourage me and to help refine me. There is a great temptation to try and carve out our own personal slice of leadership glory. But when we choose autonomy over collaboration, we choose position over progress.

Here are three reasons why it pays to pursue collaboration.

1. God is collaborative. Although the existence and relevance of God may be up for debate in some circles, examining every major world religion you will find that God is always projected to work in tandem with either humans, other Gods or other supernatural forces. As a Christian, I believe and hold to the biblical view of the existence of God. In the Bible, God is described as a communal being that exists in perfect relationship within Himself (referred to as God the Father, God the Son & God the Holy Spirit), and extends relational connection to His creation.

Because God, who is in the innovator of life, has chosen to exist in a collaborative communal expression within Himself, what would make me believe that isolation and autonomy are the best options for leadership development?

2. Personal gain is an empty pursuit. When is enough enough? The answer is never. No matter what I personally achieve as a leadership, it will always remain shallow if I don't have anyone to share it with. Humans were created for relationship. We invest a great deal of time defining who we are based on the determination of how we are connected to others (parent, child, relative, friend, co-worker, etc.). What this tells us is that at the very core of human culture is the fabric of relationship. True leadership is understanding that growth is about a communal practice not personal gain.

3. Many hands make light work. Have you ever tried to push a car out of the snow by yourself? Unless you are omnipresent (meaning you can be in multiple places at the same time) it is impossible. You need one person (or multiple people) pushing the car and one person steering. Leadership was never intended to be a solo endeavour. Great leaders find ways to work alongside of others by putting their differences of opinion, philosophy or methodology aside.


Are there any other benefits to working collaboratively that you would add to this list?

Being Intentional

We live in a last minute culture and we are slaves to our impulses. Marketing agencies take full advantage of this concept with gems like:

• Buy now, pay later

• Fast food - we deliver in 30 minutes or less or your pizza is free

• The easy button

• Instant download

• Instant love connection

All the while, we are accumulating these instant fixes for deeply seeded needs as we allow our impulses to control, dictate and dominant our schedules, our habits and our choices.

But what if life what never intended to be lived at the rate of pure impulse? I'm discovering these three things as I strive to find a balance between impulse and being intentional.

1. If you believe in intelligent design, you believe that planning is important. Life doesn't make sense without the concept of intelligent design. Intelligent means well thought out. If you and I exist as part of a well thought out design, which points to the undeniable fact that planning is essential in order to create something that is significant. I'm not sure that you can believe in intelligent design, but yet allow your life to be controlled primarily by impulse. While it may be true that your earthly parents never planned to create you, God (the innovator of intelligent design) did. There is no accidental life on planet earth. God creates beauty out of brokenness and chaos, and He is not controlled by impulse in doing so. Intelligent design points to the fact that planning is crucial to success in life, in leadership and even in love.

2. Discipline yourself to think ahead. Don't just settle for last minute. It takes discipline to create space to make a plan. Great leaders possess the ability to respond to the moment while always keeping the future in mind. The struggle is that most of us have not created the habit of taking the time to plan what might be next, and allow ourselves to instead be controlled by the ever increasing pressures of a reactionary, impulse based lifestyle. 

It's true that you can't think of everything, but entering into a conversation, a situation or a challenge without some sort of plan leads to becoming easily overwhelmed, burdened, disconnected and eventually burned out. If planning ahead doesn't come naturally to you, find the courage to seek out others who have seemingly mastered this discipline and ask them to coach you. Great leaders understand their vision and mission. Vision is an orientation, not a destination; it exists in the future and the present. But unless you discipline yourself to take time to make a plan, you will struggle to discover what vision and mission are.

3. Being spontaneous doesn't mean you're being spiritual. Being led by the Spirit is different than choosing not to make a plan. As a leader, I've been blessed (and cursed) with the ability to see the future fairly easily (meaning that I have an idea of where we should go and how we can get there). There are many times that the plan that I have put in place needs to flex, be adjusted or even torn down due the promptings of God's Spirit. But spontaneity doesn't always equal being spiritual or Spirit-led. Sometimes spontaneity is linked to laziness in leadership. To gauge whether or not people see you as a lazy leader, ask them about to observe your planning habits and give you feedback. The community around you may be able to help you sharpen and refine your leadership habits if you are willing to hear honest feedback from them.

Being intentional in leadership is extremely important. If you are a leader, that's not by accident. Courage, bravery, honesty and integrity are required to lead. Our impulse based culture demands that we must be intentional in the way that we lead. So, how are you being shaped by impulse and/or intention?

Breaking Bees

My son Cannon is terrified of bees.

The instant he hears the buzzing noise of an incoming insect, he runs for cover. While humorous at times, it's also frustrating from the perspective as a father when you see your son driven by fear of the unknown rather than the certainty of what is. No amount of rational, logical thinking can help Cannon process the reality that he is larger than a bee and the bee might just be more afraid of him than he is of it.

I was thinking more about bees during one family walk and yet another instant where I witnessed Cannon jumping out-of-the-way of another insect for fear it might harm him. What do bees and Christians have in common? Here are a couple of thoughts that came to mind.

1. We travel in packs. Bees live in colonies: extended family communal type settings. There are times when different bees are sent out of the hive to scout out new territory, but for the most part, bees prefer to stick together with their own kind.

This is somewhat of a sad realization of most Christians. We love to associate with those who are like us. While this mentality isn't altogether bad, it definitely limits our ability to grow and develop or even influence the world around us. The challenge we face is allowing ourselves to be culture-shapers instead of consumers or bystanders. We take a risk when we put ourselves out there to interact with those who may not share our thoughts and views on life, that's true, but we miss out on the beauty that is to be found in every human being when we only choose to associate with those who are exactly like us.

2. We protect the hive. There is an instinctive nature to bees. The hive is their home; their place of safety; their place of identity. They will offer their lives in service to their queen in order to protect their hive.

The challenge we Christians face is not allowing our denominations, buildings or programs become our hives. If you've ever studied the history of Christianity, you will know that many lives have been lost due to a difference in theology, doctrine and even methodology. Each of us falls victim to the same basic human tendency to immerse our identity in what we do instead of who we are (our doing vs. our being). In our attempt to protect the hive, we unintentionally give our lives for something that may not actually mean what we believe it does. Perhaps we need to re-cultivate the habit and posture of humility instead of pride when it pertains to matters of the hive.

What are other similarities that may exist between bees and Christians?

Conflict, Friendship & Feet

I suffer from the proverbial foot it mouth disease. I cannot recount how many times I have intentionally or unintentionally caused conflict based on what I did or didn't say to someone. It is because of this habit of eating my own feet that I have gained a lot of experience with regards to the benefits of working through relational tension.

This is a fact: Every human relationship will experience conflict, strain and stress over time. How we choose to handle these moments of conflict will determine whether or not a connection is strengthened or severed. Here are two ideas on how you can grow through relational tension.

1. Humility. There is nothing quite like a reminder that you're not perfect to help foster humility in one's character. Learning to apologize, accept responsibility for your actions, and the consequences associated with disappointment and pain provide the best catalyst for character growth and development. It's in times of tension where your true character is revealed. Attempting to deflect or mask responsibility in conflict does nothing but harm any sort of future relational bond that may be built. Relationships that stand the test of time are built on honesty, respect, forgiveness and unconditional love. 

The next time you find yourself dealing with relational tensions ask yourself this question: "What do I need to learn from this situation?" instead of giving into the temptation to distance yourself from this learning opportunity.

2. Fox-hole syndrome. My first role in ministry was in a church that faced a lot of different kinds of conflict. Learning to navigate through the seasons of great tension, strain and hurt helped me to understand that conflict can act as a communal catalyst for strengthening relational bonds. 

One of my favorite mini-series is Band of Brothers. The 10 part series tells the story of a division of soldiers as they walk through the Second World War. As the television series continues to unfold, we discover that the bond between these men is enhanced by shared conflict.

There are times when we may be invited to dig a figurative foxhole alongside of others in opposition to conflict. Instead of viewing these seasons of strain as hindrances to future development, discover the richness of the opportunity to create relational growth that conflict can bring. It's true that unresolved conflict does severe a relational connection, but when you are mature enough to fight through the conflict, the relationship you long for will grow.

The next time you find yourself suffering from indigestion due to your attempts of eating your own feet, remember that relational conflict is unavoidable and it may just be an invitation to deepen the connection that you have with another person.

Living into Mission

I chose the domain name of "Live the Story" for my blog because of the belief I hold that every single human being that has existed, presently exists or will exist in the future plays a role on an overarching story of the existence of humanity. Every single character in this story plays a part in its development (good or bad). The challenge we face in this emerging understanding of story landscape is discovering how our role fits into the grander story of humankind, and what we can do to help shape this story in the present and in the future.

For the sake of this post, I'd like to define the role that each human being plays within the context of this unfolding story as mission. Mission answers the question of why we exist. It gives us meaning, purpose, worth and orientation for the life what we live.

For some, mission is to kill, destroy, manipulate and harm for personal gain. Others may find meaning in devotion to faith, family, friends or vocation. 

In any case, every human being is living into their mission here on planet earth, whether they realize it or not. The challenge in shifting one's mission, or is creating a vocabulary for one's current mission is impacted by the following four elements:

1. Opportunity - Discovering mission begins with recognizing that every living being has been provided with the opportunity to not only exist, but to invest their life within the setting of the unfolding story of humanity. Opportunities come is all different shapes and sizes. Some are made available offline in one's neighbourhood, faith community, workplace or educational environment. Others occur online through social interaction, activity, study, research and the sharing of information.

Where mission is, opportunity has led us there. What are the opportunities available to you at this point in time? Find some people who can help point them out to you if you are having difficulty seeing them.

2. Proximity - Living into mission is most easily sustained by investing in the opportunities that are nearest to you. Proximity is both a physical location and an emotional engagement. Take for example the social justice issue of human trafficking. It may not be possible for someone to move into the middle of where this issue is most pressing, but the emotional connection that can result from awareness of the opportunity to get involved creates the nearness connection that is proximity.

3. Passion - Passion is most easily defined as suffering, believe it or not. Passion extends beyond a fleeting emotional connection, creating a determination and active engagement in an unfolding opportunity sustained by nearness (proximity).

4. Courage - Courage is the final element to the nucleus of what it means to live into mission. Opportunities are plentiful, created by nearness and sustain by passion...but it's courage that moves thought into action and value into activity. Will we face the fear of the unknown, embrace the concept of re-writing an unwritten script and live into the mission we were created for?

Team and Transformation

I'm a huge fan of team sports because I love studying how teams are put together. I listen to endless hours of debate and rhetoric about what drafted or acquired player might turn into an all-star or high-functioning leader for his team; and who might be a better fit in terms of role or character on which team. I'm intrigued by the phrase "intangible qualities" team officials use during interviews to justify the selection of a specific player ahead of another individual.

What I've discovered in all of my observation and involvement as a fan is that there are two major components of team building that exist in the world of professional sports: the draft (player development) and the sign or trade (the acquisition). Imitation is often the predominant pattern to sh a team. When one team wins a championship, other teams begin to adopt principles of the championship squad. Players are analyzed, graded, ranked and selected based on different sets of needs for each individual organization, and other emerging trends or patterns they see more successful teams demonstrating. I often wonder what makes one person more valuable to an organization than another? As teams are built, players are changed, elevated, developed or removed depending on their overall value to the team and the long term goals of the organization. Players become assets and commodities in environments like this.

Thankfully when it comes to the family of God we don't function like that...or do we?

In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul writes about the development of the church, speaking to both the unity and diversity that is found in a living and breathing organism such as the human body. He goes into great detail to highlight the value that every individual body part plays in the overall development of the entire body as a whole. In Paul’s understanding of the Christian community, while there are different roles to be played there are no favorites. We essentially function together as a team, working together towards the common goal of transformation.

Transformation is discipleship and discipleship is most easily defined as becoming who we were created to be. It takes time, effort, investment and intentionality. We leaders help to shape the culture of transformation in our community.  And although transformation should be the goal for every community or team, many communities give way to three most common temptations.

1. Spiritual development is the most important part of transformation.

Earlier we defined transformation in terms of holistic development or discipleship, referring to becoming who we were intended to be. There are four basic elements that define what a human being is: the spiritual self, the physical self, the emotional self and the intellectual self. Paul’s description of the human anatomy functioning in diverse unity shows how all four of these elements of an individual and/or entire community must work together in the transformative process.

If we fail to exercise one set of muscles and overuse another set, we will end up with a lopsided figure. There are seasons where we may elevate the development of one of these facets ahead of another, but unless there is a long term balanced approached to the transformative process between all four of these elements, the process itself will be stunted. Does our pursuit of transformation overemphasize spiritual development or appropriately emphasize spiritual transformation under the auspice of the holistic transformative process we know as discipleship? 

2. Transformation is exclusively individual.

Thinking back to our team analogy, no one individual is greater than the entire team. A culture of transformation is developed in a communal setting that benefits individuals. The greatest sports teams understand this principle. While individuals contribute to the over all goal of the community, they also reap individual benefits of communal growth.

Here in the western world, we are just beginning to rediscover the communal reality of the Christian faith. You may have heard before that it takes a village to raise a child. The same can be said for the process of transformation. We are relational beings designed for connection. Individuals void of a communal expression of faith will experience a stunted transformative process. A team requires a full compliment of players in order to compete effectively. Transformation requires a community of individuals to do the same. No single individual will rise above the development of the broader community alone. We need each other to survive, to grow and to find stability. How is your current community valuing holistic transformation that invites individuals into a long-term development process?

3. The loudest ones are the brightest stars.

It’s easy to assume that the squeaky wheel always needs the oil. If its true that every human being is created to function as a part of a broader living breathing organism known as the body of Christ as described by Paul in 1 Corinthians 12, and that no part is greater than the other, the parts that are louder aren’t necessarily better.

My Grandma used to tell me that the reason God created humans with two ears and only one mouth was so that we could learn there is greater value in disciplining ourselves to listen than creating the space the be heard.

The extroverted and naturally gifted teens and families are usually the easiest to notice and sometimes even get along with. But there may be thousands of diamonds in the rough among those who are less noticeable or desirable to be around. Do our communities make room for the so-called misfits? Do we value every part of the living community we represent, or are we some sort of genetically engineered nightmare growing a dozen limbs but missing a heart?

We grow together, we move together, we breathe together. How are you cultivating a team in the process of transformation?

We are What We Value

"You are what you eat!"

I can remember watching late night infomercials while in college that were attempting to sell me some new high fibre crash-diet miracle fat burner. For only three easy payments of 59.95 you can create the body shape you've always wanted!! These commercials were mildly entertaining at 3am as you are working on some sort of study paper due the next morning.

What I learned from these infomercials is that we not only have an over-fascination with dieting, but we also crave instant gratification and change.

The truth about life (that no one wants to market) is that it can be difficult. Many people on our planet face an everyday struggle for survival. Those of us who are blessed enough to live in places where our challenges aren't as severe may think differently at times, but we too struggle with making the most of the time we've been given to live.

If life is a gift we've been given, how might we invest what we've been given? Here are 3 thoughts I'm discovering about life and values.


1. We are what we value. At my daughter's elementary school their theme for the year is identity. Their hope is to help their community discover who they are through scholastic education. Different activities, events, and teaching styles are being integrated throughout the year in order to help this theme take root as a value in the lives of their students.

It's one thing so that that we value something and another to live it. Over the years I've witnessed far too many examples of people who say good things but struggle to implement them in their daily lives. The truth about life and about values is that we are what we value. If you want to know what someone values in life, observe where they spend their time and their money. What you see and what they say can sometimes be two different things. It takes great courage to be honest about what we value based on how we are currently investing our lives. Find a community that will help you uncover your values.


2. The expression of our values can shift over time. One of my favourite activities to do with my kids is to have tickle fights. I love hearing their squeals of joy fill our house and leave my ears ringing. While this activity is meant to show them that I value our relationship, I realize that how I express the value of relationship will need to shift over time. Tickle fights work with young children, but are less effective and appropriate with teens or adults. As my children grow, my expression of relational value must also grow. I need to challenge myself and find the courage to admit that what I've always done in the way I've done things isn't going to last. The way I choose to express what I value has to change with the passing of time.


3. Values and character are interrelated. I've heard it said that a season of testing reveals character, but what I'm discovering is that the character we possess is directly correlated to the values that govern our lives. If we desire to be a trustworthy person, we will value honesty & integrity. Life's challenges can be used as mirrors, reflecting what sort of character is being developed in us while inviting us to great depth through what we value.