Plain & Simple - Discipleship 166

I've been thinking about how I use language lately.

As a parent of two young "parrots" I've often found myself choosing to use different words for fear that one day my kids will repeat something I wish they hadn't heard from me.

I wonder how often we as communicators and leaders would say the same thing? A good friend of mine once shared with me the burden he feels as a worship leader to help create a worship vocabulary for his community. He chooses every song carefully with this thought in mind: how do these words help edify the God we serve while drawing people closer to Him?

What a great challenge!

So, when we communicate with others, are we desiring to pursue clarity or confusion as our end result? My hope is that I can provide clarity to those who I may be sharing with verbally. Here are five things that I'm learning about how to communicate both plainly and simply so I can be understood.

1.Talk with someone, don't talk to them. Interaction is key to enhance understanding.
2. Choose different words. Some of the leadership, theological and parental terms bring more confusion than clarity. It's important to know your audience and know what sort of language use is appropriate.
3. Be consistent. Any parent will tell you the value of this principle...same goes for leadership. Be consistent in how you communicate and when you communicate. Waiting to communicate often leads to a heightened emotional response...and sometimes these responses can be avoided and/or stabilized with consistency.
4. It's okay to be different. Don't be someone else...be yourself. Communicate with others through the lens of your life's story and journey with Jesus. If your story is rooted in Jesus, your story is more powerful than you can imagine.
5. Relax. In our over-stimulated society, it sometimes takes time for a message to be translated, decoded and absorbed by your audience. Don't fret if you cannot see an immediate response to your communication strategy. Instead, rest in the fact that you aren't asked to do it all, you are simply asked to play a role in God's unfolding story...plain & simple.

What do you think, are there other communication lessons you are in the process of learning?

Entitlement - Discipleship 165

Entitlement seems to be the word du jour that many adults use to describe the emerging youth and young adult culture. Quite frankly, I myself have used this word in this same regard.

What I'm learning more and more about these days is how the emerging youth and young adult culture seems to be a mirrored reflection of the natural human condition, in addition to learned behaviour from previous generations.

I have 3 pre-school aged kids. Today we have been celebrating my oldest son's third birthday. With every birthday in the Frizzell house comes the opening of gifts, the eating of cake and other fun memories. I find it very interesting how each of my kids has developed a sense of ownership and entitlement when it comes to these birthday traditions. They argue over toys, they make sure that they are heard and they voice there opinion in no uncertain terms.

I challenge you to do a social experiment sometime this week. Try to observe a group of kids, youth or adults interact with each other. You might notice that in each instance there is always posturing for position, a desire to be heard and some sort of element of entitlement.

I've been drawn to a story Jesus told about a group of workers. In this story, workers are invited to harvest a field. Three different groups of workers are hired at three different times: early in the day, mid-day and in the last few hours of the day. At the end of the work day, the boss calls all of the workers together in order to hand out their compensation. He pays each of them equally...which frustrates the first two groups of workers. These people cannot understand why the boss would allow those who were hired towards the end of the day to share equally in the bounty.

Entitlement seems to fit as a definition for the reaction of the first two groups of workers. These workers are so focused on getting what they believe they have earned, that they miss out on the lesson they are being shown. Life is about generosity...freely giving of yourself and of your stuff to others. Entitlement gets in the way of living life according to this rhythm and design. When we allow ourselves to be consumed by our desire to gain rather than our ability to give, we lose sight of what is really important.

I desire for my kids to know the beauty and the simplicity of living generously...so I will desperately fight against my natural entitlement tendencies.

The next time you are with a group of people ask yourself these question, are you fighting to make sure you get what's yours, or are you fighting to pursue a life that is steeped in generosity? What defines a disciple best, someone who gets what they think they deserve, or someone who is willing to give of themselves for the sake of someone else?

Filter - Discipleship 164

The recent bombardment of social justice initiatives via social media has illuminated the deep-seeded desire that exists for a single individual to make a difference in the world at large. One of the many great aspects of being a pastor to youth is the fact that this emerging generation has a natural inclination towards compassion, social justice and world change. And recent world events and statistical data have shown the growth and progress towards social justice issues such as world poverty and clean drinking water are being made.

The problem with this natural inclination is that many other people who may not be naturally wired in this way seem to be intimidated and afraid of it...both inside and outside the church.

The question I'm left asking myself is not only how I may respond to the emerging justice issues of the day, but more importantly, how am I going to filter what I see, hear and experience?

I would suggest that there are only three responses to issues of social justice and poverty. These three distinct responses are illustrated by a story Jesus told called the Good Samaritan.

The basic synopsis of this story is as follows:
- a man experiences injustice
- two men see the injustice and respond with both ignorance and fear
- a third man sees the injustice and chooses to get involved.

The first response to social justice is ignorance. The word ignorance basically means choosing to believe something doesn't exist or matter. This is one way we can choose to filter our experience with justice issues...we can simply choose to try and ignore them.

The second response to social justice is fear. We may not choose to ignore the issue, but because of the complexity of the issue or the potential of getting hurt or experiencing some pain by getting involved, we simply choose to refrain from pursuing justice as a result of our fear.

The third response to social justice is to get involved. Getting involved doesn't mean that one person can solve every issue that exist, but it does mean that one person can make a difference by doing something. When people think about changing the world they sometimes buy into the mentality that changing the world means doing everything, and that's simply not true. Changing the world begins with one act of intentionality at a time. When those who follow Jesus choose to say that are going to be an agent of change by verbally and tangibly demonstrating love for others, the world in which we live benefits. We do what we say and we say what we do...and our doing comes from understanding what it means to be human and in the case of those who know Christ, what it means to be a Christian.

Being a Christian means valuing what Jesus valued...and Jesus values justice.

As our world experiences growing pains and with it more opportunities for change, my hope is that we filter our response to these issues through the lens of both love and compassion. We all have a filter, the challenge is utilizing a filter that doesn't belong to us, but allowing God's filter to be the one that helps us to determine how we might respond to acts of social justice.

What's your filter? How does it need to change to become more in line with God's?

Originality - Discipleship 163

The default setting for humanity seems to be comparison. We love to measure ourselves against others in order to see where we might actually fit. We compare salaries, talents, skills, gifts and even opinions.

What has me fired up today is the tendency we have as Christians to compare ourselves to each other. In particular, we seem to get great pleasure out of comparing one church to another church in order to determine how we might be "better" than the other. As a leader in the church, I confess that I have fallen into this mindset. I've definitely compared the programatic elements of my church against others, looking to find places where my program may be superior or borrow ideas that I can replicate into my ministry context. And I hate to say it...but I'm not alone in this type of comparative conditioning.

I'm reminded of a portion of the story of the nation of Israel from the Old Testament. The nation of Israel did not have a physical king. Instead, God Himself said He would be willing to serve as their king. During the creation of Israel as a state in biblical times, the people of Israel cried out to God asking for a physical king to rule over them instead of God as spiritual king. The reason why they asked for this was because they compared themselves to all the other nations around them and saw something these nations had that they wanted...a physical king. Because God is a loving God that does not force Himself upon us, He honoured the request of His people. This desire for a physical king led the entire nation to forego their God-given destiny to a certain degree. Instead of being a biblical model for others to aspire to, the nation of Israel became a biblical example what not to do.

I wonder sometimes if we as the church play this role out in modern day society. With our desire to be better than or just like some sort of pseudo definition of success, do we end up simply being an example to our world of what not to be instead of being something to aspire towards?

What if we actually embraced the desire to be original, creative and obedient to God's leading? Would our desire to embrace originality help us to combat the tendency to compare ourselves to others while trying to mimic or recreate their perceived success?

As a dad, I don't want to be like any other dad. I want to be an original dad. My kids deserve someone that is unique and original. Originality doesn't mean there will not be some resemblance to something else, but it does mean that the primary quality of something is unique and unlike anything that has ever been before. As a pastor, I don't want to be like anybody else. I want to be original; motivated by God's design and desire for my life and my willingness to be obedient to it.

How might life be different if we had a little more originality and a little less mass conformity or copy-cat tendencies? What do you think?

Blessed Beyond Measure - Discipleship 162

I've recently had the privilege of being invited into the lives of others through unique experiences. I've had the opportunity to hear life stories of people who are in the middle of their journey and through listening to their insights, I've been able to gain wisdom, perspective and joy. I've also had the privilege of being able to share my hope and dreams through spoken word, love in action and the receiving of gifts from the most unlikely of sources.

It's been just over two weeks since I last sat down to process the world around me through this blog format. Since then, I must admit that the overwhelming conclusion that I've come to it quite simple: I'm blessed so that I can be a blessing to others.

I heard this analogy once that my life leaves a wake that impacts others. If anyone has ever been on a lake enjoying some sort of water sport, you might understand this image. A wake is a wave or ripple of water that an object generates. A wake is an impression of sorts. These impressions have the ability to impose both positive and negative things on one's surroundings. Like it or not, each of our lives leaves an impression on the world around us...and I'm not talking about only a carbon footprint.

The questions that I find myself asking are along the lines of what sort of hope, impact and impression am I making on others? My life is truly blessed...it's full, it's fun and it's fast. So, do I keep it all to myself, or do I give my life away in service of others? I'm blessed so that I may be a blessing to others. My hope is that the wake that my life leaves would inspire those around me to be a blessing to someone else. What about you, what do you hope for?

Days or Moments - Discipleship 161

I heard this quote the other day, "People don't remember days, they only remember moments." Quite frankly, I couldn't agree more. I remember moments when my day started and ended strong, but for a few moments hope seemed lost...guess which parts I remembered most vividly?

Could it be true that moments are more important than days in the hearts and minds of people? I think about moments like when I saw my wife for the first time in her wedding dress, or my first goal in a hockey game, or the first time I learned to ride a bike. I don't remember most of the day that is associated with these moments, but I do remember the moment itself.

Does this phenomenon have implications for us parents and leaders with regards to discipleship? I think so! The question I'm asking myself currently is what sort of memory or moment creating experiences am I facilitating for those in my sphere of influence? The students, parents and families I serve may not remember all of my days as their leader, but they will remember moments. My own children will not remember every single day of me being their dad, but they will remember moments.

What moments are you leaving in the lives of others? Are they inspiring ones, or discouraging ones? My hope is that in a single moment, my kids and the people I serve would know that they are loved, cared for and worthwhile. I may not always live up to this goal, but I hope I never stop seeking to inspire others through the way I live my life...filled with hope, peace and joy knowing that there is more to life than what can be learned in a single moment.

Lessons from being a Dad - Discipleship 160

We have a weekly tradition in our home...it's called Daddy date night. Most Thursdays my wife (who is a stay at home mom) is set free for an entire evening while Daddy and the kids run rough-shod over, in and through the house.

Most weeks are uneventful; some weeks are deeply insightful for me as a dad. Tonight was one of the deeper nights. Yes, chaos was the flavour of the evening, but prior to bed time, my daughter blessed me with the gift of an insight into the inner workings of her heart...and to be honest, mine as well.

My son Cannon had just finished responding obediently to a task I had asked of him, so I paused to thank him and tell him how proud I was of him. All of a sudden, Saydie burst into tears uncontrollably...I had no idea what I had said or done. When I was able to decipher her broken speech in the midst of sobs, she in no subtle way shared with me that she was crying because I didn't say I was proud of her too.

I was a little shocked...how does my four year old possess the courage to share a deep longing with me and her big strong dad have difficulty to share this same craving with others? What spoke to me tonight was not only Saydie's willingness to share with me, but also the truth to which this question resonated in my own heart.

As human beings each of us is longing to be loved; to have someone share that they are proud of us. And what's super cool about this all is Jesus had this same desire. The Bible records the story of Jesus' baptism. Just after Jesus was being lifted out of the water, the very voice of God...His Father...spoke from the heavens and said "this is my son, in whom I am well pleased" (different wording in some translations). We want someone to believe in us...to notice us...to take the time to encourage us.

I'm convinced that if there is any gift we can freely offer to others en mass its the way we choose to utilize our ability to speak. Are we known as encouragers or discouragers? Of course, our words become empty if they do not line up with our actions...but there are times when we need to speak into the deep longings that others have. So...if you haven't done so yet and you are reading this rant...share with others through the gift of language in some form of what they mean to you. Who knows, maybe you will discover that this is what they needed in that moment. Speak the truth in love, and ensure that your actions speak of the same love that your words do.