All Kinds of Dads

What is a dad? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself this question? There are all kinds of dads in our world: foster dads, adoptive dads, bio-dads, step-dads, spiritual dads, wanna be dads and mentoring type dads (to name a few).

Dads come in all shapes, colours and sizes. Some are tall; some are small; some may be more round in stature, while others may be more lean. So why is it that sometimes we all wish dads would be something that they are incapable of being? The Perfect Dad.

Hollywood hasn't done us any favours in this regard. The dads depicted on television and in the movies are usually one of two types of extremes - negligent (Homer Simpson) or hyper-active (Liam Neeson in the Taken films). As we soak in the messages we are receiving about what a dad should or could be like, we begin to compare our own dad to what we've experience in the realm of conjured fantasy we call entertainment and we are often left uttering the phrase: I wish my dad was more like...

What if we shifted our focus away from the impossible search of the perfect dad and instead embraced the simple concept of the good-enough dad?

I realize the words "good-enough" scare some folks. Some people see them and interpret that there is a lack of effort being given to a particular task. Others may hear "good-enough" and understand that what is being shared is no longer a priority.

Let's you and I commit to something here. Call it a restoration of language. Good means just that, good. And enough tends to mean full, or a limit of some kind. So a good-enough dad is a dad that is full and good. This full and good type of dad is unique, because every person contains a different proportion of being full. For some dads a full experience is being incredibly intentional in spending time with their children through a variety of ways. For other dads, being full is working multiple jobs to provide for their families. What I'm saying here is that good-enough becomes more a relative term than an absolute standard for all dads to achieve.

When we take our focus off the idea that dads can be perfect, and instead allow them to be who they have been created to be by pursuing a good-enough dad like strategy, I wonder if we would be able to celebrate who the dads in our lives are instead of who these dads aren't a little more intentionally?


YOUR STORY

I don't pretend to know your story at all. Maybe your personal experience with your dad hasn't been the greatest. It's true that our experiences with the people in our lives do shape us, but they do not have to define us. Can you celebrate your dad (remember, there are lots of different types of dads) for being good-enough, or are you still holding out for the perfect dad experience?

If you are a dad, take time to be the best version of you. This will mean something different for every single dad on the planet. Discover how you are wired, lean into your uniqueness and allow who you are to help shape those around you in a positive way.

There are all different kinds of dads out there and we need them all. Be you. Because you is awesome.

I'm a Dad...and it's ALL good

I remember the very first time I found out I was going to be a father. My wife Bonny had just taken a pregnancy test and we were sitting the doctor's office to confirm our hunch. I was filled with excitement, awe, wonder...and a little bit of fear.

Questions like, "would I be a good father" and "how am I going to support another person" raced through my mind at an alarming rate.

Then the day came when I met my child for the very first time...our precious daughter Saydie. I remember snuggling her and giving her her very first kiss. I remember promising her that I would love her, care for her and do my best to be a good dad. This same life-changing experience was repeated in unique ways as we welcomed our sons Cannon & Deklon into the family over time as well.

I haven't written much this summer cause I've been spending a lot of time just being a dad. But it occurred to me that conversations about dads aren't always positive, so I wanted to change that. I'm going to experiment with beginning to write about what I see dads doing right, celebrating people while intending to inspire readers towards hope. If you know a dad who needs some support, or have a story of someone who is doing something awesome, let's celebrate it together!

Post it. Share it.

I don't know much, but I do know something...I'm a Dad and it's ALL good. So here's to dads!

Interview with Ken McIntyre about leadership & Youth Ministry

Ken McIntyre is the youth ministry director at Beddington Pentecostal Church in Calgary, Alberta. Ken loves working with people, using technology & all things Canadian.

Watch/listen to this conversation about God's activity in and through the life and ministry of Ken (Follow him on twitter: @ken_mcintyre)

The Power of Story

Have you ever wondering where stories come from and why they are so powerful?

The origin of story is found in something we lovingly refer to as oral tradition. From the dawn of time, human beings gathered together to share in story - story of life's origin, story of purpose, story of definition and story of hope. Every human culture that has ever existed has elevated story to be the capstone of their existence. We are immersed in story.

Story is in the sinew that binds the human narrative together.

One of my favourite things to do as a parent is to tell stories to my children. Sometimes these stories are about my own childhood memories; sometimes the stories I tell are focused on producing some sort of desired response; and at other times stories are simply about celebrating something.

Stories are powerful because they matter to us. Here are three ways the power of story is revealed.

Story inspires. Have you ever heard someone say, "I've gotta great story to tell?" They proceed to dive into a great tale of some triumph or failure, evoking emotion, engagement and wonder as a result. Great stories are ones that inspire us in some way. Inspiration is a fickle thing. At times it demands an active response, and at others it invokes a pensive state. In all its forms, great story-telling catapults the listener into an emotively saturated climate called inspiration.

Story celebrates. The best stories told through image or words are those that seek to elevate a cause, an individual or a dilemma that is worth celebrating. While Hollywood has done society a great disservice is many regards, what Hollywood does do well is celebrate great stories. Historical turning points, social awareness issues and personal triumphs have been captivated in print or on-screen in ways that have allowed millions of people to be influenced in some way. Awards shows like the Grammys & Emmys provide a platform through which the telling of story is honoured, and the stories themselves may gain the recognition and joy they deserve.

Story breathes. Stories are alive. Don't believe me? Try telling someone a story and see what happens. Stories evoke question, wonder & hope at the drop of a hat. What we say, how we say it, and how we choose to live in response to what we've experienced are signs of life...life that is wrought into existence by the power of story.

One of my goals as a leader is to learn to harness the power of story in my own life - knowing that what I say and what I do are stitching together a narrative that influences the world around me. More importantly, knowing that my life as story exists within the context of a greater unfolding story known as human existence, which has been authored by a creator God in a loving and determined fashion.

It's this story that all of human kind finds itself immersed in. Which leaves me to ponder how we are engaging the power of story in all its forms to inspire, celebrate & breathe in present reality and the not so distant future? What do you think?

Video Interview with my friend Phil

Phil is a youth ministry worker who is passionate about Canada, intergenerational ministry, youth and the Toronto Maple Leafs! Listen to a conversation between Phil and I as we chat about Canadian youth ministry trends, what we love about Canada and what we hope every Canadian Youth Worker would know about their ministry.

Transitions

It's grad season. Students are preparing for life post-university, post high school, post jr. high or post elementary. Each transition brings with it a series of new opportunities, questions, hopes and dreams. In these seasons where we may ask 'what now' how do we respond? This is a video some friends of mine helped produce in an attempt to generate spark life in the midst of transitions. Enjoy!

Youth Ministry chat with my friend Grover Bradford

Grover Bradford is a Canadian Youth Ministry legend. He possesses over 20 years of ministry experience with missional agencies and the local church. Listen to our conversation about the current and future state of youth ministry in Canada and join the conversation!