One of my utmost favorite stories just so happens to be captured by the biblical writer of the gospel of Luke. In chapter 15 of this segment of scripture, the story of the lost son unfolds.
A man has
two sons, both of whom are entitled to a portion of their father's great wealth
as inheritance. The younger of the two sons desires to see and experience the
world around him, so he asks his father for his portion of the inheritance. His
father grants his request, releasing his younger son to pursue his carnal
desires and dreams. This younger son lives it up, exploring life to the full in
all of his dreams of what he thought it could be. His thrill ride comes to a
crashing halt though, once his resources for maintaining his dream run out. At
the end of his rope, this younger son finds himself simply surviving instead of
living into the dream of his youth and so decides to reunite with his father
for the purpose of returning to where he had once belonged. In his mind, this
younger son would be willing to exist as a less than equal bi-partisan of his
father's house. Instead of claiming his birthright and full son-ship as he had
previously done, the younger son would become a servant in his father's household
so that he may not only survive, but once again return to the place where he
found true belonging.
story continues to unfold, the younger son is embraced by his father upon his
return and although he is willing to become like a servant, his father restores
his son-ship and celebrates his incumbent return to his place of belonging. The
elder son, however, stands against the welcoming return of his younger brother.
Although this elder son did not chase after the empty notion in the way his younger
brother had, he too wrestles with embracing his place of belonging and rejects
the overtures of love from his father because of his inability to rationalize
the seemingly unequal demonstration of love from this father and his two sons.
The elder son claims that the younger son is loved in a more profound way than
himself only because his wayward ways are seemingly overlooked by the welcoming
return this father embraces his younger son with. Having lived up and into the
expectation of what a "good son would do," this elder son is left
hurt, bitter and confused by the loving response of his father towards his
younger brother. And as a result the elder brother refrains from entering into
the celebration of belonging together with his extended family.
three facets of belonging that are stirred up in me as I immerse myself in this
We belong because of who we are, not because of what we do. We so often believe the lie
that what we do makes us who we are. The truth is that who we are informs what
we do. This elder brother struggled with understanding what is meant to be a
son to his father. He believed a good son was someone who did all the right
things. But it was his younger brother that truly understood what it meant to
be a son. A son is someone who knows where he belongs and who he belongs to.
Even in the midst of mistakes, our sense of belonging is not severed. In fact, it’s
in these darkest of times that we rediscover who we really are and where we
really belong. It takes great courage to admit what our needs are, including
our desire to belong to someone and to something.
We all need to belong somewhere. We as humans were created
for connection. We define ourselves by who we are to others: so and so is my
friend, this is my dad, this is my cousin, they are someone I went to school
with. This sense of belonging and the need to be connected lies at the core of
who we are. We become restless when we don't have a clear understanding of
where we belong or who we belong to.
When we belong, we are not only loved, but we are also inspired to
live. When we find our place of belonging by answering the question of
how we fit in this world, we find that we are not only loved, but we become
inspired to live in and out of belonging. We know who we are when we know where
we belong. And knowing how we fit gives us the platform from which we are able
to build things like reputation, legacy, commitment and endurance.
we live in a society that struggles with the concept of long-term commitment,
it makes me wonder if we have lost sight of our ability and need to belong.
Perhaps if we generate the courage to rediscover how we are connected and why
we are connected, we might identify our place of belonging and in turn help
others to discover theirs.
all living in this unfolding story belonging. Ignoring the reality that we all
need to fit somewhere isn't going to help us discover who we are and what we
are made for. Find the courage to create connection and rediscover how you belong.
How can we navigate through the uncertainty of conflict in relationships? Where do we start?
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