The Silver Lining

I had the privilege of serve alongside a cluster of world changers today. As many of you know, southern Alberta (the region where I live) experienced significant flooding during the third week of June. Many residents suffered damage to their homes, lots of infrastructure was destroyed, and even our beloved green spaces experienced change during this natural disaster.

My band of change agents & I headed to one of our local green spaces to help in the cleaning efforts with the goal of helping restore a communal oasis for public use. We got started in our efforts much later than we had hoped, but by the end of our experience each one of us left with a different souvenir of sorts (other than filth laden clothing).

It was humbling to see the damage caused by flooding first hand: 30 foot trees uprooted, erosion of the river bank, damaged fencing, debris and other sorts of clutter. But within the layers of chaos, there were still signs of great hope. Hope that this emerging generation recognizes that they have a role to play in the over-arching and unfolding story of humanity. Hope that all things can be restored, improved and re-purposed even though they have been wounded or damaged by a flood. And hope that there is always an opportunity in every obstacle.

I met a local city worker named James who was passionate about flood ecology. Near the end of our day, James offered us a story that has captivated my imagination. James explained that the poplar trees are a flood species. When the water table is saturated, poplar trees release their seedlings (similar to how pine trees release their pine cones during a fire), allowing the species to continue to grow, thrive and mature over time. James asked us what we had seen during our cleaning efforts. We pointed to uprooted trees, dirt, silt and other debris as a result of the flood. Bending down to a patch of greenery I had walked past half a dozen times throughout the day, James asked us to look closer. As we looked down and more closely at the ground, James pointed out thousands of tree saplings that had begun to germinate. These saplings were unnoticed by those of us who were focused on cleaning and helping our city recovery little by little, and yet these same saplings serve as a reminder that great good can come out of great disaster in time.

The story of Joseph (read more here), a biblical character, has a similar ending. Joseph endured much pain in his life (slavery, abuse, betrayal, etc.), and yet still had the courage to view his circumstances through the lens of an opportunity instead of an obstacle.

Life isn't a series of disconnected chaotic random events. Life is an intricately stitched, elaborate and unfolding story that has a rhythm and design. It's our choice to discover the silver lining during perceived times of chaos. So how are you discovering opportunity in the obstacle that you might be facing?

The Funny Serious Side of Life

Remember being a kid? Summers seemed to stretch on forever. Life seemed brighter at times, and the endless quest for fun was at the forefront of each day's agenda.

Then somewhere along the line we all decided (in one way or another), that it was time to grow up and fun became less of an emphasis as we pursued the more serious side of life.

Maybe you're like me and the faces of people come to mind when you think of people who are way too serious about life, and others who seem to take life for granted. Is there a balanced approach between these two opposing outlooks on life? I think so. And here's what I'm learning about it.

1. Fun & Serious are actually cousins. Being fun and being serious are actually interrelated (meaning that they belong to the same family). I'm not certain that either emphasis is worthwhile unless it is coupled with its' cousin. Laughter and fun create the necessary bridges to become more serious about life, and the serious side of life helps us to appreciate and recognize the value of what fun brings to the family. Sharing in times of both fun and seriousness help us to see the richness that all of life has to offer. We should grow to appreciate both of these fabulous outlooks to life.

2. Laughter leads to longevity. Two summers ago I had the privilege of leading a team of teenagers students on mission to Vancouver. While there, I led a sub-grouping of this team to work in a old folks home. This elderly residence proudly held the record for the most centenarians for the province (meaning people over the age of 100). When asking the staff what they had witnessed to being the key to this kind of longevity each of them referenced the vibrant sense of humor that each of this over 100 year old persons possessed. When we laugh, we saturate our soul with joy. Finding amusement in the mundane routine life offers at times provides us with the perspective we need to weather the tide that each season of life brings. Laughter creates connection, while reminding us that there is more to life than perfection.

3. Each of us has a natural tendency towards one of these viewpoints. Some of us find it easy to have fun with life, while others of us prefer to be more serious in our approach to life. In order to understand the value of both of these elements of life, we need to know where our natural tendencies lie, not so we can bury them, but so we can learn what sort of community we need around us in order to help us embrace a full view of what life is truly all about. If you are more of a serious soul, learn from those who seem to be at ease with having fun. If you have a difficult time taking life seriously, rub shoulders with someone who seems to live in wisdom with how they approach life.

Humor and wisdom may be distant cousins, but they are still related. Being fun and being serious are skills that all great leaders learn to develop. How are you being shaped by fun or wisdom?

What Matters

Time is limited.

The movie In Time starring Justin Timberlake contained the basic plot and understanding that every living human being exists within a specific time frame. The characters of the movie all possessed clocks on their arms that would begin counting down towards zero once they reached a certain age. Once their clock reached zero, they would cease to exist. Instead of being paid a regular wage, they were paid in time increments in order to prolong their existence. Commodities were equated with a different cost in time; 4 minutes for a coffee, 3 minutes for a bus ride, etc.

As leaders, parents & individuals, our life here on earth does follow this same basic principle and understanding. It's true we may not possess a countdown clock on our forearms letting us know how much time we've got left, we do have an awareness that life on this planet doesn't last forever, and usually a longing to invest whatever time we've been given coincides with this basic understanding.

When I think about investing my life, I think about what I need to experience so that I'm filled with great joy and hope. I'm also thinking about what it might mean for others around me to experience a joy filled life. Conversation and interaction between human beings is a large part of life. When I interact with others, am I making the most out of my opportunity to connect with them, or am I wasting my time instead of investing it.

Here are three ideas that I'm discovering about creating conversation that matters.


1. Rooted in story. Each of us has a story to tell. Every life exists for a reason and purpose. Each life represents a single story that is being lived within the context of a greater unfolding story known as the existence of humanity. When I connect with others (old or young), how am I sharing my story with them? Our world is designed to trade in relational currency. My story matters. Your story matters. Our lives matter. Choosing to share stories with one another helps to create the life-giving interaction and experience that each of us crave. Share your life by sharing your story (past, present & future).

2. Willingness to listen. While finding the courage to share my life with someone is critically important, I must also be willing to create the space of others to feel heard and valued through my willingness to listen. I create life-giving opportunities for others by being willing to hear them. My youngest son Deklon reminds me of this all the time. He is just learning how to speak, but he always has a great story he wants to share with me. Sure, there may be only a few words that I understand, but the joy in his eyes as he knows I'm his captive audience is inspiring!

When we interact with others do they know that we are willing to hear what they have to say? We may not agree entirely with them, but we model that they are valued when we take the time to listen to what they have to say. Are you willing to listen to someone's story?

3. Courage to be real. Perhaps this should have been where I started my rant. I'm tired of fake things. Plastic plants always look great from a distance, but when you get close to them, you realize that they are really limited in what they can be used for. This same principle can be applied to our understanding of human life. People that do not represent who they really are through the way they live their lives and interact with others will find themselves becoming increasingly lonely. We humans are designed for authenticity...fake just won't do! We might be able to fool some people for a little while, but we will loose sight of our own identity and a sense of stability in the process if we continue to project who we think we should be instead of who we really might be. The rejection of our fake self is easier to handle, that much is true, but the acceptance of our fake self is even more difficult to process. All you were ever meant to be was you...just the way you are...an intentionally flawed masterpiece. Find the courage to be real, cause fake just won't do!


Conversation that is real, rooted in story & provides an opportunity to be heard is life-giving. How are your creating these environments and opportunities with the time you've been given?

The Most Terrifying Question I've ever asked

What now?

In recent weeks I've found myself bumping into this question more frequently. I've walked with families who are working through pain, I've seen many grade 12 students wondering what might be on the horizon a few months from now, and I've even had conversations with folks about different life transitions they are looking at (moving, changing jobs, health issues, etc.). The one common denominator in all of these interactions has been the prevailing, and somewhat deafening, ask of "what now?"

This question seems to stem from a form of identity crisis. When a role that we have played begins to shift (like graduation from an achievement of sorts), we seemingly loose sight of a piece of our identity. We are no longer what we used to be, and we are uncertain of who we are in the immediate and now not as distant future.

I wonder if the tension we experience is a result of allowing our identity to be shaped more by the roles we've been accustomed to playing rather than the values or the principles from which we may have stated are the foundation of our lives.

Consider this: If a parent who has had their children living with them in their home for 20+ years is now suddenly dealing with the emerging reality of becoming an empty-nester (a welcome thought for some), does their role a parent come to an end? Perhaps not, but it does indeed shift.

If roles in life change, and if experiences sometimes facilitate this change, how might one respond to the reality of the 'what now' in their life? Here are three simple suggestions.

1. Breathe. This may seem like a no brainer, but this is absolutely critical. Without oxygen we will die. There are times when the pain we are experiencing in our moment of crisis we are impeded in our attempts to not only breathe physically, but to find space to process the emotional, spiritual and physical realities that transition brings. Create space where you can process this transition and don't forget to catch your breath.

2. Seek wise counsel. Get input from people who have gone through a season of asking the "what now" question before. Their experience might not mirror your own experience, but you may also be able to learn from someone who has walked the "what now" path before you. You're not expected to figure everything out on your own. Take some time to connect with people you trust, people who have your best intentions at heart and allow them to walk this emerging journey with you.

3. Take your time. Don't be hard on yourself. It takes time to work through a "what now" season. In our intensely saturated instantaneous culture we succumb to the pressure and demands of results based value as a society. It takes time to work through different seasons in life. The "what now" season is no different. You cannot expect an instantaneous response to a soul-stirring question. Be kind to yourself and others who are walking through this kind of season. You don't simply get over a "what now" season, you get through it...and that takes time.

Creating a Movement

Movements occur when an unsettled group of people bonds together around a common desire or vision to see a preferred future become reality.

Martin Luther King in his most famous speech uttered these familiar words - "I have a dream." In the next few minutes he outlined his vision for a united interracial United States of America. Many listeners that day decided to link arms with King and dare to create a movement towards this preferred future he described. The journey towards this preferred future wasn't easy. There was a great cost to many individual lives that had both positive and negative long-term effects on humankind. And here today, as I type about something that happened decades before my existence on this planet, I still benefit from a dream that became a reality.

Many of us long to leave a lasting impression on the world in which we live. Some of us desire to make the world a better place, while others of us may simply hope that we receive all that we had hoped for out of life. Regardless of what our personal motivation might be, the outcome of these collective desires is to create some sort of movement towards or away from something.

Creating a movement is a lot like causing an infection. Infections occur most typically as a result of some sort of wound that has been inflicted or caused. A system only learns to grow and to change when it has do deal with adversity. Here are four things I'm learning about creating sustainable movements:

1. Embrace and name the wound. The courage to create and pursue change or movement comes from unsettledness with the status quo. In this unsettling process, it is essential that we take the time to name or identify the root of the disconnectedness. We can't diagnose what the issue is unless we are aware of the symptoms. Sometimes wounds are the source of the unsettledness, but sometimes they are only the symptom of the root cause. Diagnosing the wound can only occur through the filter of communal discernment. What this means is that we need to speak about our wounds with a group of trusted sojourners so that we can evaluate what it is and what it might mean.

2. Pain isn't meant to paralyze. We live in a modern society that expresses distaste for pain. Our culture is built through the use of numbing agents that attempt to help us cope with, dodge and reject the forming process that pain invites us into. While not all pain is healthy (self-inflicted pain is usually a sign of ill health unless referring to muscle strengthening exercises), all pain is not meant to paralyze. You may have heard the old adage "no pain, no gain." Creating a movement starts with understanding the invitation that coincides with our pain, rather than running away from it or attempting to numb our pain away. 

3. Courage and strength are the scars of great leadership. It takes great wisdom to learn from and grow as a result of our wounds. Pain does leave a legacy. Wise leaders allow pain to create strength and courage instead of fear and paralysis. Great leaders find a way to face their pain, work through their pain and allow their wound to be a catalyst for creating a movement that leads towards the desired preferred future.

4. It takes time. You've heard the phrase "time heals all wounds." This same practice can be applied to creating movements. It takes time to create a sustainable movement. While we might like to see these things occur overnight, the reality of creating movements is that it often doesn't happen like this. Movements take time to create. Great leaders are willing to live in the tension between a preferred future and current reality for as long as it takes to create the desired movement.

What sort of movements are you hoping to generate?

Created to Connect

There is much to be said about the preoccupation (and perhaps even infatuation) North American culture has had with the concept of individualization. At birth, we begin to be bombarded with limitless forms of communication regarding our formation as an individual. Early on parents of a newborn child help to shape who they understand themselves to be through the clothes they way, the interaction they have, the food they eat and other environmental factors they are exposed to. 

As this child continues to grow and develop, they begin to experiment with different ways of expressing themselves while being taught to develop their individual skill set through education, the arts, apprenticeships, fashion and work experience, among other things. The focal point of the ascension of humanity in the North American bubble is "to be all you can be." And while there is intentional emphasis of individual development, there is shockingly less focus on communal wholeness. Sure we may reference the fact that humans are to develop a social conscience, and learn to manage conflict with others, but there seems to be far less attention paid to the development of an entire communal hub (family or some other connecting point) than there is on individual achievement here in the first world.

I've had the privilege of travelling to a number of different countries outside of North America. What I find refreshing from my experience (other than cuisine), is the communal perspective from which many of these international cultures create rhythm. You may have heard the notion that "it takes a village to raise a child." It's one thing to say something like this and another to see it lived out in a contextual setting. With all the emphasis we North Americans place on individual achievement, I wonder if we unintentionally sacrifice our innate desire to connect with others? Have we defined connection to mean a source of weakness instead of strength?

In no way shape or form am I suggesting that individual people don't matter...quite the contrary. Every individual does matter, and because they matter, they have purpose. Part of this purpose is to connect with others in a communal hub. So if the communal connection is just as important (if not more so in some respects) than the individual connection, how does the way we approach a rhythm for life need to change?

I'd like to suggest three simple ideas that may inspire all of us to create a new sense of rhythm.

1. Lone wolves always die. The concept of a communal hub can also be witnessed within the realm of the animal kingdom. Most living creatures prefer to exist in community (schools of fish, pack of wolves, herd of elephants, etc.). Animals have learned that there is not only safety in numbers but also great strength. A great white shark can fall victim to a pod of dolphins that will mercilessly fend of their predator by bombarding it with a barrage of full speed collisions with their rigid noses. The animals that exist in isolation seem to have a decreased limit to their effectiveness and in many cases their actual lifespan.

When a lion is stalking a herd in search for fresh prey, they spend a significant amount of time observing the community. The lion takes note of how a community responds to a potential threat. As a strategic moment, the lion will race towards the herd at full speed with the intention of creating and instilling fear into its prey. If the herd stays together, it can fend off the attack. If, however, an individual animal gets separated from the community at large...well, let's just say it doesn't end well for them.

If we are created for the purpose of connecting with others, than believing that we can "go at life alone" is not only a lie, it's a death trap. Lone wolves always die. Sure, you might win a battle or two, but in the end you will lose your life, and you will die alone. 

2. When it's all over. We all know that life on earth doesn't last forever. I've had the honor and privilege to walk with many individuals and families as they have walked through the inevitable reality of death. The common thread in each of these individual stories continues to be how they did or did not connect with those whom they loved. No matter how grand their life had been; no matter what they did or acquired, at the end of their life itself, they chose to celebrate their connections with people, not things. 

The only investment that pays true reward is that which we make in the lives of others. Positive or negative, how we connect with people will be the only thing that matters to us when our lives are over. Disagree with me? The next time you are in a public space where multiple generations are present, watch how our elder generations celebrate life. What are they making time for?

3. Connection is strength, not weakness. Imagine for a moment that our world can be represented with individual Lego pieces. Now I happen to really love Lego...it's a fascinating invention. These building blocks can create some incredible masterpieces. But there is still a limit to Lego's creativity. You are unable to create something with just one piece. You might have a really great piece of Lego, but unless it's combined with other pieces it will always be limited in what it can do.

This same principal can be said of us as human beings. Unless we intentionally choose to create connection with others, a communal hub of sorts, we will not be able to achieve our potential in our original design for life. Community isn't an option...it's a necessity. We cannot exist in isolation. Resist the pressure of complete individualization and embrace the idea that connection creates strength, not weakness.

A Story of Belonging

One of my utmost favorite stories just so happens to be captured by the biblical writer of the gospel of Luke. In chapter 15 of this segment of scripture, the story of the lost son unfolds.

A man has two sons, both of whom are entitled to a portion of their father's great wealth as inheritance. The younger of the two sons desires to see and experience the world around him, so he asks his father for his portion of the inheritance. His father grants his request, releasing his younger son to pursue his carnal desires and dreams. This younger son lives it up, exploring life to the full in all of his dreams of what he thought it could be. His thrill ride comes to a crashing halt though, once his resources for maintaining his dream run out. At the end of his rope, this younger son finds himself simply surviving instead of living into the dream of his youth and so decides to reunite with his father for the purpose of returning to where he had once belonged. In his mind, this younger son would be willing to exist as a less than equal bi-partisan of his father's house. Instead of claiming his birthright and full son-ship as he had previously done, the younger son would become a servant in his father's household so that he may not only survive, but once again return to the place where he found true belonging.

As the story continues to unfold, the younger son is embraced by his father upon his return and although he is willing to become like a servant, his father restores his son-ship and celebrates his incumbent return to his place of belonging. The elder son, however, stands against the welcoming return of his younger brother. Although this elder son did not chase after the empty notion in the way his younger brother had, he too wrestles with embracing his place of belonging and rejects the overtures of love from his father because of his inability to rationalize the seemingly unequal demonstration of love from this father and his two sons. The elder son claims that the younger son is loved in a more profound way than himself only because his wayward ways are seemingly overlooked by the welcoming return this father embraces his younger son with. Having lived up and into the expectation of what a "good son would do," this elder son is left hurt, bitter and confused by the loving response of his father towards his younger brother. And as a result the elder brother refrains from entering into the celebration of belonging together with his extended family.

There are three facets of belonging that are stirred up in me as I immerse myself in this biblical story.

We belong because of who we are, not because of what we do. We so often believe the lie that what we do makes us who we are. The truth is that who we are informs what we do. This elder brother struggled with understanding what is meant to be a son to his father. He believed a good son was someone who did all the right things. But it was his younger brother that truly understood what it meant to be a son. A son is someone who knows where he belongs and who he belongs to. Even in the midst of mistakes, our sense of belonging is not severed. In fact, it’s in these darkest of times that we rediscover who we really are and where we really belong. It takes great courage to admit what our needs are, including our desire to belong to someone and to something.

We all need to belong somewhere. We as humans were created for connection. We define ourselves by who we are to others: so and so is my friend, this is my dad, this is my cousin, they are someone I went to school with. This sense of belonging and the need to be connected lies at the core of who we are. We become restless when we don't have a clear understanding of where we belong or who we belong to.

When we belong, we are not only loved, but we are also inspired to live. When we find our place of belonging by answering the question of how we fit in this world, we find that we are not only loved, but we become inspired to live in and out of belonging. We know who we are when we know where we belong. And knowing how we fit gives us the platform from which we are able to build things like reputation, legacy, commitment and endurance.

Because we live in a society that struggles with the concept of long-term commitment, it makes me wonder if we have lost sight of our ability and need to belong. Perhaps if we generate the courage to rediscover how we are connected and why we are connected, we might identify our place of belonging and in turn help others to discover theirs.

We are all living in this unfolding story belonging. Ignoring the reality that we all need to fit somewhere isn't going to help us discover who we are and what we are made for. Find the courage to create connection and rediscover how you belong.