Belonging

It's a basic need that every human being longs for...a place to belong. This past summer, I was able to share a talk with a local church here in Calgary about this subject. Take a listen. How are you being inspired to create connection for those around you?

The Passover

I'm a young leader...ok...youngish. I've had the great opportunity to get to know hundreds of different young leaders over the years, and there is a common trait that most of us seem to share.

A desire to be noticed.

Whether it's working inside a church, with a missions organization or in the corporate world, young emerging leaders want to be seen, recognized and given the opportunity to lead.

So being the kind of guy that I am, I asked the question why? And here's what I've discover:

We young leaders are afraid.

 We are afraid that we won't be seen, we may not be noticed and we may not get the chance to lead. We're afraid that at the end of our lives, we may have just been passed over. If we were really honest with ourselves, we might find the courage to not only recognize our fear, but figure out a way to combat it.

What If?

So what if we decided to be something other than afraid? What could that look like and what would it take? Here are three things I've begun to identify as growth areas for me as a young (ish) leader:

1. Humility - it's not all about me. The true measure of a faithful follower of Jesus, regardless of the setting or context, is not about personal development...it's about kingdom development. When my motivation is to make sure that "my gifts are being used" or "my voice is being heard" I might actually be in the business of self-promotion. And if I am, I'm counteracting the work of Jesus. A wise leader is a humble leader. If we would humble ourselves and pray, what would God do in us and through us?

2. Patience - timing is everything. It's supposed to take 40 weeks of gestation for a human being to be grown (sometimes shorter, and other times longer). It takes time for crops to grow in a field. It takes time for young leaders to be recognized for their character, competence and commitment. There are no short cuts to influence. Being on stage with thousands of people tuning in to what you have to say doesn't instantaneously make you relevant. If you want to be seen, stay in the game longer than you think is possible. Embrace the internal and external tension, it might just be a gift God is giving to you for a reason. The solution may not be running out to start a brand new hip church...it actually might be to weather the storm so that perseverance can develop the character God desperately wants you to obtain.

3. Grace - no one is perfect. Sometimes all we are meant to learn from leaders who have gone before us is how not to lead. And sometimes we need to learn how to forgive and to forget. What if we took the time to think the best about others instead of the worst? How might our conversations about the people who "don't see us" change if we see them with the eyes of grace instead of the eyes of frustration?

So what about you? Where are you at as a leader? Are you young and wanting to be noticed, or are you in a position to identify and develop the emerging leaders around you? What will your leadership legacy be? Let's choose not to be afraid of The Passover...we're not even certain it's actually going to happen, are we?

To Honour and to Lead

There is a tension that young leaders face. We think we know it all. Our minds are chalked full of great ideas, visions for the future, and the sometimes delusional thinking that we can achieve the impossible. And in our vigour and intentionality we lead out hoping that by sheer will and determination our current reality will change.

(to read more about other leadership tensions, this is a blog post I wrote for the Youth Cartel).

But there is often times something standing in the way that we have failed to be aware of...tradition.

I know that tradition can be a curse word in today's post-Christian, trans-modern and flexible culture. Young folks sometimes cringe when they hear someone who is older than them talk about what they used to do back in the "good-old-days."

There is, however, something true about tradition. 

Tradition has helped to shape both expectancy and culture. The customs, rituals, experiences and values that have been conceived in the form of tradition have created a perception about the past, the present and the future. To change the perception towards the present or the future requires the willingness to honour tradition and a determination to lead towards a new future.

There are 3 ways young leaders can honour the tradition of the culture so they can lead towards the future:

1. Know the history - Every community has a story. Knowing the history of what went well, what went poorly and the lessons learned along the way will provide a young leader with the posture of honour & respect. Arrogance is death to a young leader. Demonstrate a willingness to learn by uncovering the story of the organization you serve with.
2. Celebrate the good in everyone - A friend of mine once said, "You always remember the past more fondly or more poorly than what it really was." It can be true that we humans have a tendency to sensationalize the past in a more favourable light when it suits us. However, it also must be said that there are amazing things that have taken shape before our arrival that are worth celebrating. Discover these historical moments for your community and be intentional on how you celebrate them. Honouring tradition in this way will give you the credibility to help shape the future history of your organization or community.
3. Contextualize your vision for the future - Use common language. If a 6 year old doesn't understand it, a 90 year old won't find it fascinating. Speak in terms that can be easily understood. Is it compelling? Is it memorable? If the answer is no to one or both of these questions then you've got some work to do. Be creative. Find ways to make it stick. Borrow language from other thinkers. You don't have to dream something up out of thin air. Pray, listen & test the language you'd like to use.

To honour and to lead. Two habits of a highly effective young leader. 

Sitting in the Ashes

Last night I had the privilege of listening to a ministry friend of mine share his story of working through the reality of living with mental health related issues. Brett Ullman shared openly, honestly and passionately about this somewhat taboo subject, causing me to reflect on what my role is as a friend, father, husband and leader when it comes to mental health.

One of my favourite stories is the story of Job. It's an epic tale of a man who had everything, lost it, experienced great pain, and saw it all restored over a series of different circumstances (read about it here).

As the story of Job unfolds, his friends gather around him to support him in this season of pain and confusion. They do something that I find extremely profound and the outset of this initial connection...they choose to sit beside him in literal ashes for 3 days.

Unfortunately after this point they attempt to counsel Job and offer their "wisdom" as to why he may be experiencing this pain.

Nonetheless, there is something very raw and powerful to be learned here. I've asked myself this question over the last 12+ hours, "What does sitting in the ashes alongside someone look like today?"
Here are some ideas that came to mind:

• visiting someone in the hospital
• sharing a meal with someone
• laughing
• giving your lunch to someone so they can eat a meal today
• financially supporting a child through Compassion or World Vision
• giving out free hugs (careful with this one...could get weird!!)
• shovelling snow
• praying for someone

Are there Jobs in your life? People who just need to know that someone is willing to sit with them in the middle of their pain? What would it look like for you to sit in the ashes alongside someone in need today?

The Pharisaical Syndrome - Leaders & Opponents

Jesus and the Pharisees...sounds like an indie-rock band, doesn't it?

I was having lunch with a ministry friend of mine and listening to him share about what God was saying to him regarding the future direction of his role and his church; he began to describe the hope that he had for this new and bright future, but also the nervousness that he felt for potential opposition to this future that he believes he is needing to create. This is a description of a leadership tension that is familiar to anyone who has had to lead people in a direction that wasn't a natural expression of where they wanted to go.

Jesus too faced this sort of tension...from the guys who could have backed up him, but instead were intent on killing him. These guys, referred to as Pharisees & other names, suffered from a human condition known as the Pharisaical Syndrome. This syndrome describes people who can be hypocritical, self-righteous & judgemental. While we all are capable of this type of behaviour, opponents to any form of leadership often exemplify these unbecoming characteristics. And the truth about leadership is that we will always have opponents to what we do or to who we are. Leaders learn to navigate through these tensions, trusting that the God they serve is larger than the perceived opposition they may face.

So how do you know when you are facing an opponent in the form of a Pharisee, or if the opposition you face is actually an invitation to refine your vision for the present or the future?

Here are four signs that you may be dealing with an opponent who suffers from the Pharisaical Syndrome.

1. Murder
Instead of supporting Jesus, the Pharisees engineered his death. Sometimes the opponents we face want to kill something inside of us as leaders. Maybe it's hope, maybe it's confidence, maybe it's something else. The goal of a Pharisee is to get rid of a potential problem or threat. The frustrating part of this reality is that sometimes Pharisees believe their intentions are God-honouring and helpful to the broader community. But the goal of this activity is ultimately to harm, and not to help...that's how you know the difference between someone who has succumb to the Pharisaical syndrome and someone who is speaking truth in love.

2. Pride
Pharisees didn't like Jesus because he threatened their spiritual control of the community. Opponents sometimes lash out because they too feel threatened in some way. Maybe covered up lies will be exposed or a long celebrate program initiative will be dismantled. If your opponent is attempting to protect themselves or something they've created in some way, you may be facing someone who's pride has been hurt.

3. Selfishness
The Pharisees had a different agenda than Jesus. All of us are motivated by something, and there are times when our motivation is distorted towards self rather than towards others. We may take "pride" in being the voice for the voiceless, but have we ever asked ourselves if someone ever invited us to play that role on their behalf? There are times when we need to speak up for justice, and there are times when our perceived pursuit of justice is simply a veiled form of selfishness. What's your opponent truly motivated by: self or others? In Jesus' case, his actions were motivated by his love for people, while the Pharisees were motivated by love of self.

4. Complexity
Taking something simple and making it more complex - the reality of the erosion of the Covenant first made by God and humankind by those who struggled with the Pharisaical Syndrome. Moses was given 10 commandments to give to the people of Israel...commandments that pointed to God's desire to be loved and to see his created beings love each other. When Jesus walked the earth, these 10 simple commands had evolved into a complex oppressive reality for the people of Israel. Opponents to your leadership may seek to create complexity or demand you conform to pre-existing complexity in some way. It's important to remember Jesus words "unless you change to become like little children" (Matt. 18:3) when we face the opposition of complexity. Simplicity is the currency of hope that the Kingdom of Heaven trades in. If something is more complex than it needs to be it's time to be reminded that living is simple.


Every leader faces opposition. See it. Process it. Respond appropriately. Sometimes our opponents are just like Pharisees.

Adventure #4 - Lost in Time

I recently received some of the childhood toys that my parents were storing in their basement for the last 25 years or so. My kids spent the better part of 2 days playing, exploring and celebrating what I once held dear.

These moments reminded me of something that is a key part of adventure...something that dads can very easily share with their own children - the PAST.

The past is a part of everyone's story. As my kids held up toy after toy, memories flooded to my mind, endless moments were my own creativity was nurtured and stirred. Here are some of my top ideas to help share your past (your story) with your kids:

1. Board Games
What games do you remember playing as a child? Are there current versions on hand that you can share with your kids? Go to garage sales, look on second hand websites or call older relatives so see if they have what you are looking for. Games are an easy way of sharing fun, laughter and memories with the next generation.

2. Movies
What stories captivated your as a youngster? If you've got a Netflix subscription, you may be able to find them and share them with your kids in fun new way.

3. Places to Visit
Did your parents, grandparents or relatives have a special tradition their shared with you? Maybe a place where they would always like to visit? My grandparents loved taking us kids to Dairy Queen...so I look for every opportunity to take my kids for ice cream (partially because I love it, but also because I may have a dairy addiction)

4. Toys
Did your parents save some of your toys from your younger days? Find ways to introduce your kids to your childhood through stories and play time with toys.

5. Food
Did you have a favorite meal as a kid? Why not take an evening to make it with your family? Share the reason why you enjoyed it so much and ask them what their favorite meals are.


What other activities or experiences from a person's past can be used to create, strengthen and build relationships in the present?

Adventure #3 - Just plain fun

I'm sure lots of you have seen the #ALSicebucketchallenge videos dominating social media. It's been interesting to hear stories of all the awareness, funds and fun generated by this campaign. I recently got nominated, so I invited my kids to help me out, and well...this happened.